Because of the frequent moves I’ve had to learn to make new friends.  Making friends is a bit of work but so worth it.  My Army sisters (and other branch sisters) are an important part of my life.  Who else knows the joys and sorrows of this life?  Who else knows the song in my heart and will sing it to me when I forget the words?   They will.  I will do the same for them, too.

Sometimes, we leave our friends behind and then get to meet up with them at another duty station later.   I love when that happens.  We can just pick up where we left off.  Yes, we change.  But the friendship is bonded and has deep roots.  I love you Gina’s, The Loop Group and Army Wife Network Team.  You mean the world to me.  Thank you for enriching my life.

#bestmates and #Outbackptr

I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated.  I’ve lost interest in doing many of the things that I enjoy.  I’ve been spending my time worrying about reintegration, moving, doctor visits and just getting everything done.    I wish that I could just have time, lots of time, where I don’t have anything to do.  Where deadlines aren’t looming.

Last year, I came across a saying.  I love it.  It is my second favorite saying of all time.  This is it:

Graphic by Corrie Blackshear

Do I have a friend that knows the song of my heart?  Yes, I do.   My husband and several of my Army Sisters knows the song.   Do they sing it for me when I’ve become lost?  Overwhelmed?  When I’m feeling out of sorts?  Yes.  They do.

Do you have someone who knows the song in your heart?  Will they sing it to you when you are lost?  I hope so.  If you don’t have someone then, I hope you find someone.  Cultivate your marriage and your friendships so when you are overwhelmed, over burdened, frustrated or lost someone can sing the song in your heart to you.

1. Tell us your name and a little about your family.
   I’m Sarah Phillips, I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for almost five years.  We are parents to four fur balls.  We have a 20 pound cat, a kitten, a 90 pound golden lab, and a 70 pound black lab.  They drive us crazy some days, but we love them all.
2. How long have you been affiliated with the military?
   I grew up with the Air Force, then I joined the Navy, then I married into the Army.  If I was able to retired from when I got my first ID card, I’d be able to retire this year!
3. What do you like most about being an Army wife?
   I love the travel and the sense of family that develops, especially during deployments.
4. What is your favorite Army resource or one you utilize a lot? Tell us about your AWN experience and how you found us.
   There’s a group that was started by volunteers here in Fort Hood, the Fort Hood Army Wives on Facebook.  The community in the group has been amazing!  Anytime there’s a question, the members of the group try to help figure out the answer, not unlike the AWN.  I found AWN through a comment a friend made on Facebook.
5. Which adjectives best describe your home?
   Balanced, Relaxed, Unique, Joyful
6. Do you have a mentor or role model that has helped you in the Army Wife Life? How?
   I don’t have a specific role model, but whenever I start feeling down about how difficult the Army Wife Life can be, I try to remind myself that many other women have been through the same things I’m going through.  And many of them didn’t have the technology we have today.
7. What is your passion?
   My passion is my family and friends.  I love bringing people together for cookouts and parties, pretty much any opportunity to feed them.
8. What is your favorite food?
   While we were stationed in Germany, I visited Italy and discovered margarita pizza.  There’s just something about the fresh buffalo mozzarella, basil, and tomatoes that is amazing!
9. Tell us how Man Approved Diet came to be.
   I wanted to start losing weight, but I knew my husband didn’t want to get stuck eating “rabbit food”.  I didn’t want to get stuck making two separate meals for us.  So I took, on the challenge of trying to create meals that were tasty enough that he would eat it but that it would fit into a healthy diet.  My husband’s only requirement when I’m experimenting is that I have a backup meal in case the experiment fails (and I’ve had a couple of those!)
10. How often do you make the Stuffed Meatloaf recipe?  What are some of the feedback you have received when you make this recipe?
    I make it at least a couple times a month.  It’s usually my go to meal when I don’t know what to make and I’ve made it for a few get together.  Everyone that’s tried it, love it!  I actually had a friend of mine ask me to make up a couple meatloaves to throw in her freezer for emergency meals.
11. Tell us three interesting things about you.
    a. I just finished up my Bachelor’s in Business Administration and I’ll be continuing on with my Master’s in Business.
    b. I was in the Navy for seven years and did three deployments; two with the USS Nimitz and one with the USS Stennis, both aircraft carriers.
    c. I love hiking!  I’m working up to being able to do a two day backpacking hike in the fall.
12. Do you have a favorite quote you live by or just love?  What is it?
    My favorite quote would be probably be Carpe Diem, Seize the Day

Check out Sarah’s blog, manapproveddiet.com, for some other great recipes.  Also, check out my article Kitchen Time Savers on Armywifenetwork.com for some great tips on managing your Mess Hall.

Whether I live on or off post making the house I live in stand out among the rest is important to me.  I’m not a fan of cookie cutter houses.  Or, neighborhoods that look almost identical.  I want to be different and to stand out.  So, what can you do to set your house apart?  I came up with the top 5 things that I do.  They are:

1. Front porch decoration.  I always have a wreath on my door.  I like to make my own and I like to change them with the season.  I go to craft stores, look around the neighborhood and Pinterest for inspiration.
2. Have an accent wall.  Painting is seriously a pain for me.   But, it is such a great way to change the look of a room.  So, I choose to do an accent wall.  When it is time to move on I won’t be spending a lot of time returning walls to their original colors.  Another way to accent a wall is to use light weight fabric.  That’s right you can cover your wall in fabric.  Simply soak the fabric in liquid starch and then smooth over the wall.
3. Home is where the heart is or where the Army sends us.  Many of us have these signs in our homes with all the places we have lived.  I love these signs.  They are great conversation starters.  I wanted mine to be different.  So, I chose a quote that I absolutely love, painted a board and applied vinyl lettering.  My sign is “I have cast my lot with a Soldier and where he is, is home to me.”
4. Dress your windows.  Curtains and drapes easily change the look of a room.  The hardware you choose is important, too.  One of the ways to add character is to use a cornice.  You can make your own.   Here is how: http://pinterest.com/pin/221872719113875221/ .
5. The last thing I like to do is display pictures.  There are so many ways to display pictures other than the standard sofa sized picture above the couch or the school picture grouping.  I took an old window, modge podge and pictures and made my own “picture frame”.  I love it.  Right now it is above the fire place.  Another great thing about it is I don’t have to try and hang each picture up evenly.

Just because we live in cookie cutter houses doesn’t mean they have to look the same.  Check out the Army Wife Network Pinterest board “Household 6” for some ideas.  Or, look around your neighborhood for inspiration.  Find ways to make your house your home.

I like having parties around the holidays.  The house is already festive so there isn’t much to do when it comes to decorating.  I asked Tiffany for a decorating tip.  She suggests having a fantastic centerpiece on the table.  Here is what you need:

• Box
•  Tree skirt
• Battery operated strand of lights
• Wine glasses
• Floating tea light candles
• Small decorative rocks
• Large glass container
• Ornaments
• Greenery such as pine boughs or holly sprigs

What do you do with all this?  Well, you put a tablecloth on your table.  Put the box (filled with books) in the center.  Drape your tree skirt over the box.  Take the strand of lights and ornaments and place in glass container.  Set the container on the box and place the greenery around the container.  To finish up put decorative rocks in the wine glasses with water and a candle.  Place the glasses around the centerpiece on the table.  Viola!  You have a great centerpiece.

I loved the sneak peak Tiffany gave me of her cookbook.  There were so many recipes that made my mouth water.   Two of those recipes that I’m putting on my HH6 Party Planner are the Bacon Wrapped Bourbon Balls and the Flippin’ Phenomenal Frozen Margarita Cheese cakes.  Of course, I’ll also offer cheeses, fruit and veggies.  I like to keep the food simple so that I’m not cooking right up until guests arrive.

Before I make my shopping list I need to decide on drinks.  Tiffany gave me her recipe for mulled wine.  This beverage does double duty.  Tiffany says to put the ingredients in a slow cooker on low in the morning letting it heat up all day.  Come party time the house will smell festive!  I also provide soda, water and some beer.

Now, I can make a shopping list.  I will also use the calendar on the back of the HH6 Party Planner to create my “to do” list.  Writing on a calendar all the things I need to do is an easy way to stay organized.  I will know what I need to do and when I need to do it.  There will be no running around crazy.  I want to enjoy my party, too!

The Drinking Girls recipes:

Flippin’ Phenomenal Frozen Margarita Cheesecakes with Salted Pretzel Crusts  

1 ¼ cup cream cheese, softened
1 heaping cup of Cool Whip™, thawed
¾ cup sugared lime zest, reserve ¼ cup for garnish (see recipe below)
4 tbsp Margarita Mix
4 tsp Tequila Gold (we like Jose Cuervo Especial™)
1tsp Cointraeu™
12 paper muffin cups, placed in a muffin pan
Using a hand mixer, combine ½ cup of the sugared lime zest with cream cheese until well mixed. Mix your “mini margarita” and pour it into the cream cheese mixture and use the hand mixer again. Then fold in the Cool Whip™ until well mixed. Scoop 2 heaping tbsp of cheesecake mixture on top of the salted crusts (see recipe below). Cover the muffin pan with foil and stick it in the freezer for at least three hours. These can keep in the freezer for about 2 to 3 weeks. When ready to serve, remove the paper cups and let thaw for about 5 minutes, then serve. Garnish with the reserved sugared lime zest.

Salted Pretzel Crusts
½ cup pretzel crumbs
¼ cup butter, melted
2 tsp sugar
Pulse salted pretzels in a mini chopper or food processor until you have a ½ cup of pretzel crumbs. Combine pretzel crumbs with melted butter and sugar until it well blended. Put 2 tbsp of the crumb mixture into each paper cup and press down flat with your fingers until it is all level. Now you’re ready to fill them, no baking needed.

Sugared Lime Zest
Zest of 6 limes
¾ cup white sugar
¼ tsp salt
In your mini chopper or food processor, combine all ingredients and pulse until all the zest is evenly distributed throughout the sugar and it begins to take on an almost fluffy appearance. This will keep in a plastic container for a couple of days.
Here’s a tip: Sugared lime zest also taste great over tropical fruit. It also tastes great on the rim of your glass for your sweet cocktails.

Bacon wrapped Bourbon Balls

2 8 oz. cans of whole water chestnuts, drained
1 16 oz. package of sliced bacon, cut in half (we like Oscar Meyer Center Cut)
2 cups ketchup
1 ½ cup brown sugar, firmly packed
4 shots of honey bourbon (we like Wild Turkey American Honey

Preheat oven to 400. Take a water chestnut and wrap it tightly with a half slice of bacon and hold it in place with a toothpick and place in a baking dish. In a small bowl, combine ketchup, brown sugar, and bourbon. Pour over wrapped chestnuts. Gently stir until all are completely covered. Bake for 35-40 minutes.

Mulled Wine

1 Bottle of your favorite red wine

1 ½ cup brandy

½ gallon apple cider

1 Tbs clover

1 Tbs all spice

3 Cinnamon sticks

2 ½ inch slices of peeled ginger

Zest of one orange

Whole cranberries

Pour ½ cup brandy over whole cranberries and let sit overnight.  Pour wine, brandy and apple cider in crock pot.  Put rest of ingredients in cheese cloth and add to liquid.  Cook on low all day.  Before serving, remove spices and add brandy soaked cranberries.

When was the last time you took care of yourself?  That’s right, when was the last time you did something for yourself?  When we neglect caring for us we end up becoming empty.  Ever neglect your car?  If you don’t change the oil and put gas in the tank you end up with a heap of metal that does nothing.  Caring for ourselves is the gasoline and oil that keeps us going.

We must care for ourselves.  We have all heard the saying, “If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of someone else.”  Well, it’s true.  We are so busy doing for others we forget to take care of ourselves.  When we don’t take care of ourselves life is not as fulfilling as it should be.  Taking care of ourselves helps us enjoy all the other things we do.

Want a cure?  I got one.  It is the “No Matter What” list.  Grab pen and paper and sit down.  Take some time to think of things that you take care of you. Write them down.  Choose a few that rejunvinates you. Keep it handy. Tape it to your bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, at the coffee pot or even on your computer. Read it.  Do it. Make your “No Matter What” list a part of your routine.  Don’t  let the day end without you having taken care of yourself, too.

Here is what my “No Matter What “ list looks like:

Kowanda’s No Matter What!

I will wash and moisturize my face every day.  (This has helped my look younger than my years.)

I will exercise.  (I love how I feel after a good work out.)

I will enjoy my morning cup of coffee. (I love the smell of coffee.)

What will you put on your “No Matter What” list? Below are some ideas:

• Read
• learn something new
• Mani/Pedi
• Craft
• Go for a walk
• Play with the dog
• Take a nap
• Have lunch with girlfriends
• Enjoy a quiet moment
• Garden
• Play a musical instrument
• Play a sport (Basketball, tennis, bowling)
• Explore the local area
• Go shopping for yourself
• Take a bubble bath

Whatever is on your list.  Do it.  Take time to care for you!    Want to know what I’m going to do now?  You got it.  I’m going to do something on my “No Matter What” list.

I’ve tried several methods to keep track of appointments and upcoming events.  Some work for awhile and others have completely failed.  One method I tried was to print out a blank calendar.  The problem was there was never enough room to write everything down and I would have to have 2 or 3 months printed out.  I ended up with loose paper that got tore and worn.  So, I decided to get a day planner.  That was fine until I changed purses.  If the planner was to small I didn’t have enough room to write and if it was to big than I might not be able to carry it with me.  Not to mention that my family didn’t have a clue what was going on because I had the planner.  A total fail method for me was making lists on paper.  Those easily were misplaced or thrown away.  I had a genius idea of using a dry erase board.  That way, everyone could see it, family members were assigned their own color maker, it was easy to make changes on and I could include more than appointments and events.  I kept a shopping list on it, upcoming events, maintenance that needed to be done on the house or car, etc.  The problem?  I couldn’t take it with me.  It’s a big board.  I laugh thinking about how ridiculous I would look carrying it around.

So, when I won an iPad I downloaded an organizer app.  Everyone in the family has access to the iPad and knows where to go for the calendar, shopping list and the ‘to do’ list.  The iPad I can take with me.  This has been a great method for me.

I know not everyone has an iPad.  This method might not even work for you.  Or, maybe you like to check completed tasks off a list.  Well, for you I’ve created a printable.  It is the HH6 Organizer.   You can click here to get it.  The HH6 Organizer is a daily ‘to do’ list that you can post in a central location in your home, when you leave the house you can take it with you and you can mark off your completed tasks.

Writing it down is a key in time management.  Whatever method you choose, from calendars to electronic organizers, totally impacts your time.  Writing it down helps keep you on schedule and maximize your time.    Make the most of your time.  Find a method of time management that works for you !

Picture by Kowanda McBride

Just recently my family was hanging out in the house.  We were all doing our own thing.  Suddenly, a thunderstorm was upon us.  Strong winds, hail and lots of rain.  Of course, we lose power.   Within five minutes I hear, “I’m bored.  What are we going to do without electronics?”.  Really?  Are you kidding me?  Sigh.  Obviously, we are relying too much on television and video games for entertainment.  It definitely was not like that when I was a kid.  What could we do with no electricity?  Well, that sounded like a great blog post.  So, I started writing by the beam of a flashlight. Here is the list I came up with:

1.  Write a letter, blog or journal using a flashlight beam to see.  (Of course, this had to be number one!)
2. Read.  Also by the beam of a flashlight.  A book light would work, too!
3. Play hide and seek.  As a kid we did this outside on summer nights.  I think it would be fun to do indoors when the power is out.
4. Tell ghost stories.  Snuggle with the whole family on the couch or in a bed.
5. Thank God for the rain.  When you are in a drought some rain is better than no rain!
6. Talk.  About anything.  When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with family members?
7. Listen and watch the storm.  I like the sound of the rain.  How about you?
8. Play flashlight tag.   This could be pretty fun.
9. Have a shadow puppet theater.  Take turns making shadow puppets and telling stories.
10.  Yell at your neighbors while you are all out on your porches.  Yep, I did that.  We could barely hear each other.  So, it didn’t last long. I was thinking a tin cans and a string would have been mighty useful.

What will you do the next time you lose power?  Get some good quality time in with your family before the power comes back on.

One last thing, after the storm passes, I hope you see rainbows!

1. What can a spouse do to prepare to take over as the financial officer of the household when the Soldier deploys?

“This really depends on what is easy for the spouse.  I am always super busy when my husband is deployed so I automate as much as possible.  I try to get payments either on the 1st of 15th so that everything is paid without me thinking.  Some people, however, like to set up reminders on their computers and have the computer ding when a bill is due.  Most financial planning companies will give free financial plans to lower income or military through outreach such as booths at fairs.  Always start at the financial part of ACS; they can at least direct you.  And remember, a finance person cannot give you financial advice they can only fix pay and leave related issues if you have the proper Power of Attorney.”

“Have the finance/budgeting conversation with your spouse before they leave.?Make sure they understand that they will have a budget downrange, too. This may seem like a no brainer, but often the soldier is under a lot of stress downrange and they may not realize that they have already spent their monthly limit.”

“Get a specific Power of Attorney for finances to work with the defense military pay office. This allows you to speak to finance about either complex pay issues or even something minor such as a pay inquiry.”

“It’s also good to get acquainted with the Soldiers and Sailor’s Civil Relief Act (SCCRA).  Generally if you send a set of orders and a letter to creditors, they will lower your interest rates during the deployments.  I have found that time a good way to pay off credit cards and things like that.  Your legal office will have standard letters you can mail to creditors.”

2. What resources are available to a spouse to help manage the finances?

“Army Community Services at most installations have financial people to help with household budgets, etc.  Also most major installations have Reserve/guard activated mobilization personnel who have reserve/guard specific financial help available.”

“During the time that you are taking over and learning, however, things Like Google, and AWN are your friends.  Almost every military spouse who has come before has done this and they will have a million tricks of the trade.”

3. What do you think makes a strong financial manager?

“Honestly, I think being open and talking about money and a budget without getting angry is important for a family.”

Read the article, The 3 P’s of Finance, on Armywifenetwork.com for more information on budgeting and planning.

4. Any final words of advice?

“Really, the biggest thing is get used to reading the LES.  There are cheats you can read about on the DFAS website.  Remember when talking to finance people, there is this little thing about regulations. They are often written vaguely and the interpretation you have may be different than a finance person has.”

ArmyWifeNetwork.com has other articles about money that might interest you.  You can find them at http://www.armywifenetwork.com/?cat=13.

Photo by Kowanda McBride

I received an email from a fellow Army Wife.  The subject said, “I think you might like this”.  She was right.  I do like what she sent.  She sent me the lyrics and a link to the song, “The Charm of the Army”.  I never heard the song before.  I read the lyrics and I liked them.  I clicked the link to listen to the song.  Of course, I had to Google the song and in doing so I came across the blog of how this song came to be.  This song and its story is an example of the sisterhood of Army spouses.  I have always been glad to be part of the Army wife sisterhood.  Below are the lyrics.  Following the lyrics is a link to listen to the song.

The Charm of the Army

(A tribute to the Army Wife)

Written by:  Pam Green, Angie Dickinson, Vivian Maheu & Renee Willis – Original Material 2007

She’s the Charm of the Army.

She is strong, she is true,

To her soldier, to her country, to the red, white and blue.

She is spirit, she is soul.  She is young, she is old.

She’s a sister and a friend for life.

She’s the one and only Army Wife!

She’s a ribbon tied up yellow.  She’s a blessing.  She’s a prayer.

She’s a neighbor and a teacher and a willing volunteer.

She is hope, she is faith.  She’s an open garden gate.

You’ll see it when you look into her eyes.

She’s the one and only Army Wife!

Chorus:  House to Home

Coast to Coast

Hand to Heart

Post to Post.

Through thick and thin, her legacy her life.

She’s the one and only Army Wife!

She’s a smile and a hug.  She’s a tear but she’s tough.

She is hospitality with a heart that’s full of love.

She’s a goodbye, she’s a howdy.

She is shy, she is rowdy.

Her heart is big and sure to sacrifice. 

She’s the one and only Army Wife!

Back to Chorus (repeat last line 3 times and add “Hoo-ah!”)

Link to listen to the song:

http://weservedtoo.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/charmofthearmybigp_vreneevocwithoutrowillis.mp3