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I love this time of year! The leaves are starting to change, football is on and the temperatures are sitting a little more in the 60-70 degree range instead of the triple digits. It’s the time of year to pull out the sweaters and start decorating for the upcoming holidays. Our Halloween decorations are slowly starting to come together. My son was only about three weeks old this time last year, so he really didn’t know what was going on – this year is a different story. I think this year I’m trying to a little harder to make sure everything is just right, so when my husband and son look back on the pictures and memories from this year it will carry them through the next year.
By this time next year, our lives will be in a completely different state of being. We are going to welcome our second child into the world in March and then by this time next year daddy will be deployed. I think knowing that kind of information far enough ahead of time sometimes almost makes you plan too much at times. This deployment is going to be a completely new experience for both of us. We have both spent our fair share of time in Iraq and Afghanistan, so that side of things is something we are used to. There are a couple big differences though – the first is that this is the first deployment that only one of us is a soldier. The last deployment we were still a dual military family, so we were both very directly involved and connected to the deployment and everything that was taking place.
The second is the kids. We didn’t have any kids the last time we deployed and this time we will have two. Thankfully, my husband was able to be stationed at a location a couple hours from my family when we moved from Germany. As we all know, if things are going rough at home – it will affect the soldier forward so this move allowed that piece of mind for my husband when he has had to be gone TDY and when he does deploy. Even though I have always been very independent, the medical issues that ended my military career in a medical retirement also greatly affect my daily interactions at times.
I guess the bottom line, I’m scared. I’m scared of losing my feeling of independence and being able to do things myself if I end up spending more time there during the deployment then here at home. I’m scared that I won’t know how to explain daddy being gone to my son, he won’t at the age to be able to rationally understand, but at the same time he will be at the age that he won’t really comprehend how long a year is. I’m scared for my husband, who although I know tries to be strong when he’s had to leave in the past, knows that he will miss a lot while he is gone and it’s not something that can be done over.
In the meantime, I will try to put my fears in the back of my mind and focus on the time we all have together now. I know that this time next year, life will have changed a lot – we will have changed a lot, but everything in our lives will continue to move forward. So we will put on a strong face and continue to bloom where we have been planted.