Whenever The Warrior and I go through a separation due to his military duties, I really “get into the zone” in my own way. From November 2011-April 2012, he went on his first deployment, and for those five months I went crazy with keeping myself busy. I worked my regular 40 hours a week at the office, I taught violin students, I picked up work-from-home projects, and I performed music gigs. Of course, being separated for so long and knowing The Warrior was in danger every single day was very difficult and sometimes painful….but at the same time, I made the most of our time apart. I improved myself in different ways: I leaned more on God and my faith to get us through, I began a disciplined gym regimen, and I spent precious time with my family and relatives. I wanted to challenge myself, to push myself to my limit – and what motivated me was thinking of my hero, living at an outpost in Afghanistan, leading patrols almost every day, keeping up his soldiers’ morale, and surviving several near-death experiences. If he could do that, then I could push myself, too. Life was easy here in comparison.
Right now, we’re going through another separation, although not nearly as long. He was selected to be an O/C (Observer/Controller) at JRTC for a month. He was notified last-minute so it was quite unexpected…and unfortunately it messed up some family plans. His identical twin brother (also in the Army) had planned to visit at the beginning of October, and he had to cancel his not-so-cheap plane ticket. It was a huge disappointment for both of them, since they are stationed far apart from each other and have always been tight-knit. I was also bummed out because everything in our lives and relationship seemed to be going to plan. The Army actually wasn’t messing things up for once! And then he got this assignment.
Such is military life! I should have expected something would crop up, and perhaps I am not justified in feeling disappointed. I have the perspective of dealing with deployment, and this is DEFINITELY not as difficult as that. He is safe, he’s even in the same time zone as me – but it’s one of those annoying inconveniences that reminds me to not plan my life too far in advance. (Which is especially important to remember since we’re engaged, and planning the wedding without hiccups will be one heck of a feat!)
So again I have plunged myself into the “superwoman syndrome” mindset and am determined to get as much work and personal improvement done while he is away. At the beginning of October, when The Warrior’s twin would have visited, I took a ladies’ handgun class with two of my friends from work, with the ultimate goal of obtaining our Texas CHL’s. (It was an awesome time!) I started another violin student, so with teaching and volunteering at the USO once a week, my Monday through Thursday evenings are busy. (I miss joining everyone in the AWTR chat room on Mondays!) I have a goal of getting up at 0530 so I can work out at the gym before coming to the office – because if The Warrior (who hates mornings as much as I) can go to PT every day at that time, then gosh darn it! I can too.
Yes, I know I’m not superwoman. I know there’s only so much I can do at once (despite Multitasking practically being my middle name!). But when you are engaged to a hero, to someone who is willing to risk everything for freedom, it’s hard to not give your all in everything you do, too. Thanks for inspiring me, Warrior!