lovingasoldier.com

I know the feeling too well. My husband is stationed in fort Benning and I’m here in California.

WTH? Where do they find the people who write for these articles? You chose not to accompany your Soldier to his duty station, so you forfeit any and all rights to complain about squat.

Unfortunately, some soldiers really do have a mistress & break up family because of it. Hope that never happens to any of you

95% of the time these situations are caused by custodial issues, I don’t think I could choose between my kids and spouse.

I love this, clever and true. I have so many skill sets that I really never wanted, ie: plumbing, through this long Army career Handsome Husband has had. I just know we are closer for all the times apart, and from being cogniscent of the the danger in this world. It is a good life and a great country, but never a picnic to carry on alone.

A few more years and u will be army free and u will most likely miss it

Not really concerned about my look, sweetie. I’m quite familiar with the numbers and don’t need to assume anything, as I have spent my entire career cleaning up the issues and the messes of these particular spouses who can’t deal with the “choice” they make and then expect the Army to take care of them and their Families, whining and crying for entitlements they aren’t entitled to. I encounter a fair amount of these and other Spouses who say that they “Hate” the Army. It’s an ignorant statement and is infuriating to those Spouses who LOVE the Army lifestyle daily. The Army is providing you a roof over your head and food on the table. Does it suck a lot of the time? Yes, of course, but as you stated yourself it is a choice that you knowingly made…and with all choices come consequences that you have to suck up and live with. The silly articles on this site drive me insane…the ones that serve nothing more than to provide fodder for those over-sensitive Spouses who love to whine and complain about everything the Army lifestyle provides without any thanks to all of the benefits it allows. We are fostering a generation of Army Spouses who can’t deal with anything and blame the Army for all their problems. Just wondering where all the intelligent articles are for those of us who don’t sit around all day in a shame spiral?

Once again….judging and assuming does nothing but make you look foolish. The Army does not provide the roof over my head or the food on my table or even my health insurance, I provide those things for myself and my children….always have, always will. My husband’s career in the Army is completely separate, logistically and financially, from the life our family has at home. And my marriage is solid and will remain that way. Thanks for asking. I’m not looking for anyone to “clean up my messes” or even saying that I “can’t deal.” If you don’t want to read the “silly articles on this site,” don’t. Just like the Army life is what you make of it, so is this site. If you’re solely looking for “intelligent” articles, why did you feel the need to read and comment on one titled “My Husband’s Mistress?” Just wondering. Some people come to AWN looking for information, some people come looking to commiserate and find a kindred spirit, and sometimes we all just need a little comic relief. If something you come across is not your cup of tea, move on and find something that is. No need to put others down or be so negative and hateful. I don’t know anyone who “sits around all day in a shame spiral,” I know I certainly don’t. I work full time, am raising two children, recently published a book, and write for multiple sites and publications, including this one. That being said, I’m not going to waste anymore of my time or energy arguing with you. Best of luck to you, I hope that you can use your great love of Army life to focus on the positive instead of feeling compelled to judge situations you know nothing about and put others down.

I wholeheartedly agree with Emily on this one and I resent the statement by Jenn that says “At the same time, I know many spouses who do follow their soldiers to their duty stations and then do nothing but cause trouble and start drama.” Not all Army spouses are drama queens. Many are hardworking, intelligent, independent woman who happen to love an American Soldier. Most are patriotic Americans who volunteer and contribute to their community as a whole. I think Emily was trying to point out that if you chose to live apart, then you do not have the right to complain about the consequences of that choice. I also agree that it is articles like this that feed the “poor is me” attitude that commonplace throughout our Military Families. When I think back to times not that long ago when all that a wife heard from her Soldier was a letter that was months old, I cringe when I hear spouses complain about a short 5 min phone call or 24hr black out period. Our Soldier’s spend their entire Military career juggling the needs of the Army and the needs of the Family. Making statements that suggest that your Soldier is choosing the Army over Family fuels the guilt they feel every time they miss a meal or dance recital. They are doing the best they can and as a spouse I choose to support my Soldier near or far and thank god everyday he comes home (wherever that may be) at all.

Emily, I don’t understand why you are so quick to judge and seem to be filled with anger. Life is so different for so many people, your opinion in one thing, your attacks and judging others is totally different. Take a deep breath and be thankful for the people in your life. Have a great day.

Wow. Well….it’s obvious that my article struck quite a raw nerve with some, which wasn’t my intention at all. Rather than stoop to the level of name calling, arguing, and defending myself against baseless accusations on this site, I’ll simply say this to everyone: In no way was this article meant to be viewed as an Army bashing, “poor me” story. If you took it that way, I’m sorry. Maybe read it again when you’re in a better mood? I don’t know. I thought it was pretty clear that this was a fun, lighthearted piece, which is the way most of my readers viewed it. It was meant to make light of a sentiment that many military spouses share, whether they live on post with their soldiers or 1,000 miles away, that a lot of times it feels like the Army is the other spouse, or the soldier’s mistress. And I don’t hate the Army. But I don’t know a single Army wife, or soldier, for that matter, that doesn’t have an “I hate the Army” day now and then. If you’re that person, more power to you. That’s awesome. While this is a public site, open for public opinion/debate/comments, it should never be used to try to tear others down. To imply that my opinions don’t count because I don’t live on post with my husband, to make assumptions about my life that you know nothing about (which…really…if you’re that curious, do a little research….every detail of our family’s Army journey has been documented online), and to resort to childish namecalling? Absolutely uncalled for. There is a difference between disagreeing with someone’s opinion and being downright hateful and mean-spirited. I love my soldier, very much. I love my Army wife friends, and think that they are some of the most amazing, resilient women I know. And I have nothing but the utmost respect for our men and women in uniform. Thank you so much to all of you who took up the fight for me in this completely unnecessary war of words, but let’s let it go now, shall we? As a very wise man once said (Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, to be exact): “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” In that case……I love you all. =)

And btw, if you try to tell me that you have never had a moment where you hated a certain aspect of army life I will call you a bald faced liar. Yes the positives may outweigh the negatives, but not everyone is perfect enough to NEVER have a moment of wishing things were going differently.

Emily- if you have a concern with this, or any other article on this site, you are more than welcome to email me at kristen@armywifenetwork.com. I am AWN’s blog coordinator and of the people who selects our bloggers. While we encourage discussion and debate on our posts, name calling is uncalled for and won’t be allowed. Our bloggers put themselves and their opinions and experiences out there in the hopes that at least one other spouse will read the post and know that someone else is feeling the same way they do. Do you have to agree with it? Absolutely not. We all travel a unique and different road through Army life. But we do expect our readers and commentors to treat our bloggers with respect- something you have not done here. If you feel that there is a perspective not represented here on Loving A Soldier, you are more than welcome to contact me about blogging opportunities or simply not read it. But calling someone who is simply sharing her experience an “idiot” because it doesn’t jibe with *your* experience is not constructive in any way. If this discussion continues with the name calling and vitriol, the comments will be deleted.

I agree I didn’t see anything wrong with her article. I liked it and thought it was kinda true!!!

Emily Patenaude Harrison apparently you are not familiar with our site. Please do your research before saying that anyone is “always negative” or “does not provide intelligent content”. As for this blog entry, it is a personal blog and feelings of Jenn’s. She is not causing any issues, it is her opinion and how she feels. Just as you are entitled to how you feel. Her opinion is quite a universal feeling, I might add. In all of MY sixteen years in the military it rings pretty true to all of the interviews I’ve done with spouses as well as how I feel myself. Before you pass judgement on that statement – I am a coauthor of “1001 Things To LOVE About Military Life.” So, I DO LOVE THIS LIFE. I believe Jenn does too, she was simply stating sometimes she feels like she is on the back burner. Fact of the matter, she is. We all are. That doesn’t mean we don’t love the Army, it means we are recognizing our husband’s/spouse’s commitment. We at AWN do not mind opinions. We love it when passion is evoked by an article or a blog. But we do take offense to unfounded statements – like the one about our website referenced above. As well as we will not stand by and watch people call each other names. If that is what you continue to do, you’ll be asked to leave and your comments removed. (Tara – AWN Co Founder)

As an author, you should know that you can’t please everyone.

You keep doin’ you Jenn. Those of us who know you, and the depth of your heart and the ferocity of your devotion to everyone and everything in your life, know what you are doing with this poignant post, and we would never question your beliefs and your dedication to your family, your soldier or your country. Muah!

Army? Army? MARINE CORPS!!!!!!! Semper Fi, do or Die, Gung Ho Gung Ho. Devil Dog till I Die! Wait I’m a MARINE I’m not allowed to DIE!!!!! OOH RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kenny you were a Marine like 20 year’s ago…lmao