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Are you a “Two Weeks a Year – One Weekend a Month” Military Wife?
Doesn’t that just sound absurd? We don’t look at Reserve soldiers as part-timers so why in the world would wives feel that way?
As a Reserve wife myself, I know how hard it is to feel “connected”. We do sometimes feel as though we really aren’t a part. “That’s just something my spouse does”, you think. But, it really hits home when our soldier is activated and worse yet when deployed.
Many times Reserve families are away from the anchors of the military life. The soldier’s unit may not be close. Personally speaking, we live in middle Tennessee but my husband’s unit is in Kentucky, an hour and a half to two hour drive depending on location for the current month’s drill. We do not have the conveniences of the commissary and/or PX. Probably the most disheartening of all, is there is no family support; no FRG, no welfare checks and no camaraderie among wives and families. I truly believe we are in the minority as I have seen and experienced quite the opposite.
The good news is that even if you don’t have a military anchor right in your backyard you can do something to get involved, be a part, and really feel and know that you are more than a “Two Weeks a Year – One Weekend a Month” military wife! Without your love, support and encouragement, your Citizen Soldier would not be able to do what he does.
Take the time to research, reach out, and explore the opportunities you have available. With the Internet and the vast resources available, especially with Army Wife Network, you can be involved, recognized, fulfilled, and develop lasting friendships in the process.
And remember, there is no such thing as a part-time soldier or part-time military wife!
Thank you for writing this!!! So often “one weekend a month, two weeks a year” is far more than that. Husband is Army Reserve and has been/will be gone on and off most of this year due to various training and (for lack of knowing the actual term) enrichment opportunities. While some of these are not mandatory, he was either voluntold or it was an excellent opportunity for his future that we couldn’t pass it up. We have no FRG, most of the soldiers are single anyway, but I find myself craving the connection of someone who knows what I’m going through because they’re going through it with me. As I write this, husband is gone at drill for the weekend. Since the nearest Army facility that has the equipment they need is located 3 hours away, I won’t have him home each night. True, it could be much worse. True, I have my friends and family. But what I want most is another spouse who can truly say “I know what you’re going through, and it’s going to be okay. It’s okay to miss him this much even though it’s only a few days.” I’m sorry to ramble on, but this just really hit home for me.
Love this an completely agree…..my husband is currently deployed an ive never felt so alone…with no other wives around to know wat im goin thru ive simply tried reaching out on the web joining as many groups as possible
Thanks for the article. I am a National Guard wife. We have a FRG but we can’t hardly get anyone to participate even during times of deployment. ” One weekend a month and two weeks a year” yeah right…my husband was home 5 months in three years do to deployments. My fellow Army Wives kept me going. No one understands what you are going through except for another Army wife.
Thanks for the article! We have been apart since basic, he deployed right after ait and then we had a yr between the next deployment, found out not even 6 months after he came home he was going again. And had to do a couple three week trainings before the deployment. Nashville is where he drills and we live in knoxville. Got lucky this deployment and met two really wonderful wives that have been a blessing.
Same here! My husband just returned from Iraq and the FRG rejected me when I needed them most. Completely useless.
Thank You for this great article
My state is small and we are able to meet during deployments (those who choose to) and I am so thankful for the people I have met during my deployment times. They have become some of my closest friends with some of the best memories. My hubby works full time for federal and part timefor the state so he is in the uniform all the time and that is even harder to explain to the general public. I try to put my hand out to any National Gaurd or Reserve wife or family I come in contact with. In 20 years I have heard it all and felt most of it and if I can ease someone elses anxiety I will. I have tried to teach my kids the same thing:)
Thanks again for writing this article I hope it helps connect some who may feel alone.
I don’t think it is useless. I am a FRG Leader and I beg for participation. There are some good and bad FRGs unfortunately. I am sorry you had a bad experience with yours. It is hard enough when your soldier is gone without being rejected by those who are supposed to be your support system. We are very lucky in our state we have a great support system on the state level. There is nothing like that bond you form with a fellow Army Wife.
Val Grimmett Guthrie: You are right. I believe in what the FRG is meant to do and what it represents. I apologize for my last statement. I felt my FRG was useless because my husband was attached to one unit before he deployed. Once he got his orders, he filled a slot in another unit so the FRG I had started with rejected me because I wasn’t in their “group” anymore. The other FRG for the unit he depoyed with was 2 hours away from my home. I felt very alone and shut out. I feel like it shouldn’t matter what unit you are with, any FRG should be willing to stand by your side and support you through it.
Thank you Wendy! I hope it does help people connect in some way!
Thank you Felicia and Michelle for posting! It doesn’t matter if they are just gone overnight, it is still tough sometimes. Michelle, have you found some support? We would love to have you join in on our Facebook page if you haven’t already! And don’t forget about Army Wife Talk Radio every Monday evening; join us in chat during the show, it’s a lot of fun! Let me know if any of you need more information.
Thanks for the comment Melissa! We are also here in Tennessee. Come to NashVegas sometime and we can have an Army Wife Coffee meeting somewhere!
Val Grimmett Guthrie I know how tough it is to get people involved sometimes! It seems those that complain the loudest are the ones that don’t participate. So glad you are a leader and you have a great support system! Keep up the good work!
Maggie Edwards I agree that it shouldn’t matter what unit you are with….we are all in this together and we need to encourage and support each other. I am so sorry you had a bad experience with an FRG. My husband’s last deployment was like that in that I did not receive one phone call from his unit to check in on me. I was so very thankful to have a handful of Army wives I could depend on during that time. Army spouses rock!